the divine comedy revisited - Mistress Billie, nyc - Forums powered by UBB.threads™

hi....
i seem to be very lucky that during my recent nyc-visit, it was Mistress Billie from arena, who explored and started to redefine my boundaries.

i contacted her under her linguistically very appealing email-address and we had a very serious fantasy-exchange prior to the session.

the basic idea was to combine humiliation and edge-play (like cutting) into an inquisition-role-play scenario.....
i also mentioned my attraction to the sound and concept of medieval torture/execution scenarios (as illustrated by the initial passage in michel foucault's 'discipline and punish'), an idea that she found very appealing, too

.

on thursday i was ordered to arrive in the dungeon, my balls shaved with my own urine (i had to collect and bring the shavings of course) and wearing no underwear and only an old shirt as a top....(this alone and the curiosity what was going to await me made a very exciting subway-ride - the semi-exhibitionist n. on his way to his punishment, and it was cold outside

).

on my arrival a very excited and curious mistress billie greeted me at the door and i was briefly instructed about what was going to happen next....she had a complete aura of joyful sadism, to which i could totally abandon myself (so we agreed to a no-limits play).

i won't go into every detail, but the following scene incorporated as a start the accusation scene in front of the other mistresses with some c/p, then after being led to the dungeon and the shirt being ripped off - the confession part (i was basically accused of a pact with the devil in several points

) with dripping hot wax, repeated nipple pinching and twisting (as well the use of a forceps on my breast and thighs), caning on the buttocks, armpits and feet and face slapping/spitting (plus the threats of castration or cutting of the nipples)....i descended more and more into subspace and adapted so much to my role as a sinner, that it started to feel 'real'.
she has a very hypnotizing voice and mine play and an intellectual awareness, that complemented my attempts to talk myself out of the accusations (eg pointing out to my birth naevus as the devil's sign, creating fictious witnesses, proofing my own verbal contradictions)....so i couldn't do else but finally give gradually in.

the punishment was conceived as a redemption through humiliation and painful marks. i should be purified and gain strength through her divine actions....
the purification consisted of forced G/S ingestion (by means of a funnel - when i choked, she said with a smile: you see, real men of faith don't choke on god's/a goddess' water

, how deviously wicked !) and spit, then i had to drink parts of my shavings (my own 'godless filth') and rub them into my genital area, while undergoing verbal humiliation and nipple twisting.

the big finale was that i should be marked by cutting on my back as a devil's companion.....since then a wonderful pentagram ornates my right shoulder

.

what i want to point out is, that during all that time i always had the feeling that mistress billie enjoys herself, too and enjoyed seeing me in pain. she is very apperceptive ('i like how your eyes change when you are in pain') and you have to see the gleam in her eyes when she cuts skin......it is really a feeling like nothing else....my skin, i, open completely to her through this action......at all points she had me so much under control that she could have done anything to me (something that i never experienced before, being very much self-determined and not very suggestible myself)....

please note the exciting conceptual paradoxon, that was reiterated throughout the session: Mistress Billie, who shows herself with devil's horns as the darker side of divinity on her website and me as neither believing in god nor the devil

engaging in this twisted role-play)...

it took me a while to get out of subspace and i was so hooked (aided by the sore nipples when i ran around the central park reservoir and the big blue spots on my buttocks and the armpits as well as the red pentagram) that i had to see her again 3 days after our first encounter.

because of the short-term announcement, we relied in the second session completely on spontaneiety.....it was not a role play but just a highly playful exploration of the two of us into the deeper meanings of sadomasochism......the feeling of being immobilized and vulnerable (both corporally (purple rope, steel shackles, a heavy steel collar) and mentally) - but in her hands also this feeling of being cared for and safe....i rediscovered my ticklishness, that she very much enjoyed (judging by her smiles and giggling) and that was probed with various implements - forced laughter mixed with pain is so exquisitely mean

, many more rubber cane strokes on the buttocks and arm pits (for reasons of symmetry), whipping with a leather strap in the back and front (ouch, my nipples !), interspersed with teasing by her hair or scratching along the sore parts of my body - i am happily floating in subspace again, trembling and breathing deeply.
then after a seductive whisper in my ear i feel sudden pain through a firm bite into my earlobe (well, they are a little bit to big i guess and thus very inviting

), which was the beginning of the final cutting session. we both had agreed that although the pentagram is beautiful, alone for reasons of symmetry (and because we both like it), my back should be adorned by 3 other designs....each symbolizing one of the 4 elements....she indulged very skillfully into cutting flames, waves and a square with a cross inside onto my back - it's hard to describe the sensations, wonderfully relieved tension by the cut being only one of them....(needless to say that the sterility of the technique was excellent !)....

unfortunately this was the preliminary end of the beginning of a hopefully long journey into submission (although with rare stops

).

to summarize (sorry it got so long):
i had a quasi-magical encounter with a young, skilled and beautiful (no further comment on that, check out her website !) Mistress, who really enjoys what she does and is able to transform even highly sceptical persons like me into everything she wants, not only by her manual talent but especially by her intelligence (and that is what i absolutely admire !)
thanks for the very mind- and body-shaping experience....
it even gave me new inputs about the term synaesthesia:
to feel colours
to hear pain
to see sounds
the whole session is a 'gesamtkunstwerk' in the proper wagnerian sense (we talked a little bit about wagner, too)....beautiful, intense/complete and (here) deliciously evil....
i am longing for more
n.
p.s.:for the next time my homework is to think about a big cutting design for my back, any suggestions ?

feel free to pm.....

"ever tried? ever failed? no matter. try again. fail again. fail better." - samuel beckett

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