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#1688174 - 09/08/17 09:50 AM Question for the Ladies: Prepare or improvise?
Screams alot Offline
Regular

Registered: 07/09/16
Posts: 227
Whenever I think about a past session, once I am detached enough to think rationally, I wonder whether She planned/scripted everything in advance, or if She improvised based on the moment (my reactions+Her mood).

It seems like a talented Lady would make it so I could not tell anyway,so I wouldn't be distracted by such details. But I am wondering in general what percentage of a session is prepared (like order of activities, equipment, scenarios,...) in advance versus improvised. How does that work? Do you ever mostly improvise? Do you ever script from beginning to end?

To be clear, I love both.

Prepared sessions have a "ritual/ceremonial" feel to them and are very exciting.

Improvised sessions have a "This is what I *really* want to do to you in the moment, right now" feel and are very exciting.

Wait did I just say that they are all very exciting no matter what? Is that bad? Am I too greedy? Should I talk to somebody about this condition? Please help?.....

SA

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#1688205 - 09/08/17 09:10 PM Re: Question for the Ladies: Prepare or improvise? [Re: Screams alot]
Luke Cage Offline
Occasional

Registered: 07/07/17
Posts: 81
Loc: NY, Philly, LA
I definitely cannot say to what degree most dommes do it, but I know there's definitely some level of preparation, which is why a) the "right" things are handy and b) the "wrong" things don't wind up happening, i.e., limits.

What I can say is that, not too long ago, I went through the most detailed pre-session interview I'd ever experienced. About two minutes in, I wondered if the process might yield a session that was too predictable or mechanical. Further into the discussion, there were some very interesting questions which caused me to open up, and to begin to see the wisdom of her process. Not only did it make me think and communicate while I could form coherent thoughts, but it established a level of trust well before the session - which is really hard to do with someone you're just meeting.

And about the session being too predictable...?

LOL! ROTFLMAO! I was WRONG. Epically wrong! OMG. The actual session flowed like water - rapids, high tide...however you like your water. She seemed to proceed with complete certainty, and I was 100% in the moment - a lot of which I attribute to that trust and knowledge.

The analytical (yet often wrong) part of me says that more prep means more consistently good sessions, whereas less prep could yield a wider range of "hits" and "misses", especially for newer dommes, newer subs, or just newer d/s pairings. Dunno.

Mind you, I'm not speaking prescriptively - I don't think this approach is for every domme or sub. Sometimes it's just walk in, and - BOOM -chemistry out of seemingly nowhere, and that's hella cool too. But I can say from experience that the "serious preparation" approach can - OMG - yield MAJOR dividends.
_________________________
Ever wonder why superheroes keep getting captured and tortured?

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#1688208 - 09/08/17 09:47 PM Re: Question for the Ladies: Prepare or improvise? [Re: Screams alot]
swordfish Offline
Addict

Registered: 01/06/00
Posts: 1132
I'm a switch, so I am dominant sometimes. I don't have the dom-equivalent skill level of a professional dominatrix, of course, but at a lower rung in the ladder, I can tell you what I do...

- Basically, one of the things I try to optimize for is flow. That is, the session flows from scene to scene, fairly effortlessly.
- I know her list of interests, so work them in along the way.
- I do not remotely have the skills to improvise and flow for an hour straight with a stranger, so instead I have a toolbox of techniques and transitions that I can use, whenever I accidentally lead us into a dead end where flow would otherwise stop. These are "canned" in that I have a list of them in my head, but I can pull them out of the library and it will (hopefully) feel to slave as if it were improvised.
- Similarly, based on her interests, I'll have some scenes basically outlined as concepts in advance, that I can pull out (seemingly improvised) if the general flow of the session did not naturally hit her interest.


So, I would guess, there's a lot of reading the sub, improvisation, and flow with a pro domme (at a far higher skill level than I have), but I would guess most dommes do the same kinds of things I do, have a little toolchest of basic scene concepts (based on his interests) and transitions (for when the flow of the session seems to have stopped) that she can call up to make sure things are going where she wants them to

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#1688216 - 09/09/17 12:06 AM Re: Question for the Ladies: Prepare or improvise? [Re: Screams alot]
missdarcy Offline
Addict

Registered: 10/10/09
Posts: 1220
Loc: NYC/London
I'm 90% improvise, 10% plan. I prefer being "in the moment' and organic with the flow but it's a bit hard to improvise, for instance, a 4-stud bi gangbang. Or full toilet training. Or public kidnapping. Or live burial.

Writing out all those things just now made me realize...I'm kind of a pervert!

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#1688218 - 09/09/17 12:51 AM Re: Question for the Ladies: Prepare or improvise? [Re: Screams alot]
Cybill_Troy Offline
Addict

Registered: 01/26/10
Posts: 1959
Loc: Los Angeles, CA
Improvise always.

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#1688223 - 09/09/17 02:00 AM Re: Question for the Ladies: Prepare or improvise? [Re: Luke Cage]
Miss Lauren Offline
Occasional

Registered: 12/06/12
Posts: 21
Loc: Philadelphia PA
For an extended session involving more complex bondage I usually plan out the various scenarios I'll be using in advance. Same goes for certain sessions involving role play or some type of storyline. Otherwise, for shorter sessions I mostly improvise. I prefer to work according to my mood, rather than do things I may not be in the mood for because it was pre-planned. In general I find that spontaneity makes an intimate encounter more authentic and fulfilling.
_________________________
Mistress Lauren of Philadelphia
www.mistresslauren.com

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#1688243 - 09/09/17 07:43 AM Re: Question for the Ladies: Prepare or improvise? [Re: Miss Lauren]
NJBlueeyez18 Offline
Occasional

Registered: 07/02/14
Posts: 48
Loc: Outside Philly
I know this is directed to the ladies, but I felt it was necessary to chime in. I as the sub absolutely love the role play scenario especially if there is a week or so before the date of the session. If my main type of session is serving a Strict punishing Mistress, then I feel build up before the actual day of the session is important to help set the tone. When I show up at the Mistresses location as the handy man...and within 5 minutes i turn around and have a mistress all decked out in her fetish wear, I know im definitely in trouble and am headed straight to the dungeon for quite a bit of behavior adjustment. Beyond exciting to think about in my opinion.

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#1688246 - 09/09/17 08:06 AM Re: Question for the Ladies: Prepare or improvise? [Re: Screams alot]
Happy Birthday Mistress Tissa Offline
Regular

Registered: 05/30/15
Posts: 196
Loc: Philadelphia, PA, USA
Originally Posted By: Screams alot
Whenever I think about a past session, once I am detached enough to think rationally, I wonder whether She planned/scripted everything in advance, or if She improvised based on the moment (my reactions+Her mood).

It seems like a talented Lady would make it so I could not tell anyway,so I wouldn't be distracted by such details. But I am wondering in general what percentage of a session is prepared (like order of activities, equipment, scenarios,...) in advance versus improvised. How does that work? Do you ever mostly improvise? Do you ever script from beginning to end?


For Me, it depends on many variables: length of session, new or existing client, what activities are we doing, etc. Usually just basics are what I work from.

Even with as good as I can get in the moment, when I'm Zen and in Domspace (which, for Me, is closely related to My sub's headspace), I don't feel comfortable with a total improv (at least what I understand as a "total improv"). Not in a pro session.


Edited by Mistress Tissa (09/09/17 08:08 AM)

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#1688247 - 09/09/17 08:24 AM Re: Question for the Ladies: Prepare or improvise? [Re: Luke Cage]
Happy Birthday Mistress Tissa Offline
Regular

Registered: 05/30/15
Posts: 196
Loc: Philadelphia, PA, USA
Originally Posted By: Luke Cage
I definitely cannot say to what degree most dommes do it, but I know there's definitely some level of preparation, which is why a) the "right" things are handy and b) the "wrong" things don't wind up happening, i.e., limits.


Bingo.

Quote:
What I can say is that, not too long ago, I went through the most detailed pre-session interview I'd ever experienced. About two minutes in, I wondered if the process might yield a session that was too predictable or mechanical. Further into the discussion, there were some very interesting questions which caused me to open up, and to begin to see the wisdom of her process. Not only did it make me think and communicate while I could form coherent thoughts, but it established a level of trust well before the session - which is really hard to do with someone you're just meeting.

And about the session being too predictable...?

LOL! ROTFLMAO! I was WRONG. Epically wrong! OMG. The actual session flowed like water - rapids, high tide...however you like your water. She seemed to proceed with complete certainty, and I was 100% in the moment - a lot of which I attribute to that trust and knowledge.


Normally, I wouldn't want to be presumptuous, but I'm pretty sure you're referring to Me.

Under that presumption...

I enjoyed this, Luke. Thank you for your kind words.

It's interesting to know now that a couple of minutes in you doubted Me! Glad you came to see the "wisdom of [My] process". smile


Edited by Mistress Tissa (09/09/17 10:22 AM)

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#1688280 - 09/09/17 05:45 PM Re: Question for the Ladies: Prepare or improvise? [Re: Screams alot]
Mistress_Annabel Offline
Regular

Registered: 10/12/01
Posts: 285
Loc: London/NYC/Hong Kong
I actually enjoy both. There is something really rather delicious about having planned some type of play in My mind's eye and seeing it unfurl infront of the submissive, however I love My scenes to be heavy with mood so I like to watch and manipulate and play and coerce. That allows for improvised moments with lots of mind play/total control and sensation.

Fetishists are fantastic for this, they find the fact that you plan thrilling but it is the icing on My cake to really mix up their fetish with desire laced sensation and that can only be read and acted upon in the moment.

If you give a fetishist a new twist on their kink you become the One that took them further....We all remember those kind of Mistresses.

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