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#1696552 - 01/15/18 12:16 AM Fake Dommes Need to Go
MsElizaDivine Offline
New

Registered: 10/17/09
Posts: 9
Things I'm sick of: Dommes who are not really Dommes.

Please, if you're going to do escort things, just advertise as an escort. If you're going to treat Domination as a "service" industry and allow "subs" to think that's what it is, just advertise as an escort. Otherwise you make things miserable for real Dommes. You give us the brattiest, creepiest subs and bring the threat of law-enforcement down on us because you're doing things that are technically illegal.

Little hint: if someone is coming to your "dungeon" to be served, instead of them serving you, YOU'RE NOT A DOMINATRIX!!!

Hint #2: if you are giving out handjobs, you are not a Dominatrix, you are an escort, and if you advertise as a Dominatrix you put the rest of us at risk for police raids. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being an escort, but it is an extreme insult and extremely selfish to advertise yourself as a Dominatrix when you are offering the services of an escort. One or the other, not both, otherwise you're selfishly putting the rest of us at legal risk. How do I know?

I was in New York training at Pandora's Box during a witch hunt in which police were bursting in to just about every dungeon to arrest real Dommes because ONE PERSON gave a handjob in ONE DUNGEON. That is dangerous, and it's not something that Pro Dommes do anyway, so WTF are you doing?



Edited by MsElizaDivine (01/15/18 12:17 AM)

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#1696563 - 01/15/18 07:17 AM Re: Fake Dommes Need to Go [Re: MsElizaDivine]
miguelmata Offline
Occasional

Registered: 08/01/17
Posts: 18
I don't know what you mean by fake. Who are you to define what domination should be?

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#1696566 - 01/15/18 10:07 AM Re: Fake Dommes Need to Go [Re: miguelmata]
ratamac Offline
Addict

Registered: 04/13/04
Posts: 2135
Thing is, it's not going to change, there will always be Dommes who will give a hand job. She or anyone can vent all they want, but it will still happen. I think it's up to the Domme to do what She wants with Her client and if giving a hand job is what She wants to do, that doesn't mean She's not a Domme. I guess She is then crossing into being an escort and I can understand the frustration of a Domme that isn't doing such things and is trying to make a living and a legal one at that. The fact still remains, there will always some Dommes that will do this. Maybe it's time to get into another business if one can't accept this fact.


Edited by ratamac (01/15/18 10:09 AM)
_________________________
A.K.A. Kevin Hayes formally paradidd on here a lonnnng time ago. smile

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#1696568 - 01/15/18 12:39 PM Re: Fake Dommes Need to Go [Re: MsElizaDivine]
OwwItHz Offline
Addict

Registered: 11/20/99
Posts: 4762
Loc: DC Metro
Originally Posted By: MsElizaDivine

Please, if you're going to do escort things, just advertise as an escort.


Fair enough, but what are "escort things?" Escorts provide companionship. If you want a hand job, you go to a prostitute.

Quote:
If you're going to treat Domination as a "service" industry and allow "subs" to think that's what it is, just advertise as an escort.


That would give escorts a bad name. But you're generalizing about the term "domination." Real domination (which would be nowhere without submission) isn't something to be bought or sold. Make no mistake about it. PROFESSIONAL DOMINATION is a service. If you want to make a living by being dominant, you have to please your customers.

Quote:
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being an escort, but it is an extreme insult and extremely selfish to advertise yourself as a Dominatrix when you are offering the services of an escort.


Let's not give escorts a bad name here. In any profession, and particularly one that involves personal services, there are good and bad performers. And when it comes to providing services that may or may not be legal, well, there are accountants and lawyers and chemists and doctors and computer programmers that do that. Does that give them all a bad name?

Quote:
I was in New York training at Pandora's Box during a witch hunt in which police were bursting in to just about every dungeon to arrest real Dommes because ONE PERSON gave a handjob in ONE DUNGEON.


When someone, real domme or 'fake' domme, takes a job at Pandora's Box, or works independently, she's not being dominant, she's being a professional dominatrix. There are good performers, bad performers, those who know and understand the law, those who don't, those who break the law and know it, and those who don't break the law.

If giving a hand job for mony is illegal, what's wrong with being arrested for that? What's unfortunate is that when law enforcement is involved, it's often heavy-handed, at least until things can be sorted out. But then, I would expect a professional house of domination services, at part of "training," would make it clear what's legal and what's not.

If a house of domination gets a reputation as a place where you can get a happy ending, it's not a well managed business. I have no problem with them being shut down. This is really no different than if for an extra fifty bucks your dominatrix-for-an-hour would give you a snort of cocaine along with your beating.
_________________________
"We can plainly understand, woman was made after man, and she's been after man ever since" - Blind Alfred Reed

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#1696569 - 01/15/18 01:33 PM Re: Fake Dommes Need to Go [Re: ratamac]
swordfish Offline
Addict

Registered: 01/06/00
Posts: 1227
Originally Posted By: ratamac
I think it's up to the Domme to do what She wants with Her client and if giving a hand job is what She wants to do, that doesn't mean She's not a Domme.


That's exactly where the point where MsEliza loses me. There have always been ads from escorts in the bdsm ad sections, and many of those escorts obviously (just based on their language) don't really know very much about domination. I'd be thrilled to see them not cluttering up the bdsm ad section. Where MsEliza loses me is where she defines any woman who chooses to offer (say) HJs as "not a domme." No one should get to dictate this type of thing, and if the woman's offering is primarily domination, and she is passionate about it and skilled in it: she's a domme. And, ironically, I've had domination with dommes who offer HJs, that is on par if not indistinguishable from domination I've experienced from pro dommes who don't offer HJs. If you allow someone to declare by fiat that "if you do this one thing, I declare you not a domme", you end up in the sticky position that some of the best domination is offered by women who are not allowed to call themselves pro dommes.

I understand why pro dommes 1. don't want to compete with women who have the same skill level but also offer HJs, and 2. don't want the added legal attention they believe this brings. I understand it, but nevertheless, for my personal bdsm journey, the best thing that's happened in the past 10 years, versus the way things were 20 years ago, is that domination-for-$ has become much more big-tent, and the dommes who don't offer such options no longer monopolize the conversation, even if they rightfully remain an important part of it. I don't know if it's good or bad for the industry in general, but certainly my own experiences are much, much more satisfying today vs the 2000s.

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#1696573 - 01/15/18 04:31 PM Re: Fake Dommes Need to Go [Re: swordfish]
MsElizaDivine Offline
New

Registered: 10/17/09
Posts: 9
A Domme in her personal lifestyle may obviously do whatever She chooses, but that is not what professional Domination is. And in engaging in sex acts during Domination sessions she is literally putting every Dominatrix in the city in legal peril, because then every other dungeon in that city is subject to police raids, just like in New York ten years ago.

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#1696574 - 01/15/18 05:00 PM Re: Fake Dommes Need to Go [Re: MsElizaDivine]
Irene Boss Offline
Addict

Registered: 08/26/03
Posts: 2563
Loc: Pittsburgh and travels
Due to the advent of Kink.com (and other sites), C4S, BP and Eros (and other directories) blurring the lines for a while now (10 years +) - we have definitions within Professional Domination. Typically "classical" defines strictly femdom and no sex, jobs or linguses. Using this descriptor for me (classical or classic) has cut out a lot of requests for things I simply do not do in a session. The rate that is set is also a general indicator of what a Lady does and does not do, though not always. Not really worth getting upset over IMO. The advent of the multi entertainer has been upon us awhile now. I think the men have it pretty well figured out with all of the various symbolic phrases in the adult business. Using the word classical is somewhat new though. In fact I think I came up with it. LOL
Here is a chance to promote my little free domina directory that has been online almost 20 years now - all classical (that I am aware of): http://www.allstarfemdoms.com
Hope this is helpful. smile
Ladies - please add your links!
Best,
Irene
_________________________
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#1696576 - 01/15/18 05:42 PM Re: Fake Dommes Need to Go [Re: Irene Boss]
ratamac Offline
Addict

Registered: 04/13/04
Posts: 2135
Wise words as usual from Miss Irene Boss.
_________________________
A.K.A. Kevin Hayes formally paradidd on here a lonnnng time ago. smile

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#1696579 - 01/15/18 06:27 PM Re: Fake Dommes Need to Go [Re: MsElizaDivine]
swordfish Offline
Addict

Registered: 01/06/00
Posts: 1227
Originally Posted By: MsElizaDivine
A Domme in her personal lifestyle may obviously do whatever She chooses, but that is not what professional Domination is.


MsEliza, that's again where we stop agreeing. Exactly what formal body has elected you to define what is and is not professional domination for everyone else? It is professional dommes as a group who define what the pro domme offering is, not one individual like swordfish or MsEliza or anyone else, and one look at the offerings available today, and it's obvious the 20-year-old narrow definition is over and has been for a good while. It's the exclusive decision of the pro domme to decide what services she will or will not offer, and many great ones offer HJ. And (some) clients have responded very well to that offering, whereas others prefer services without. I will tell you again that skill-level-wise, my experience is there's little difference (the myth that they are all escorts-with-a-whip should be taken out back and flogged) except perhaps at the really top levels, and in the sheer breadth of offerings.

I do like Irene's attitude towards this: like it or not, the era of the "multi entertainer" is here, instead of demanding everyone comply to her personal definition, she's added "classical" to her offering to make clear what she offers.

I do, BTW, prefer not to see fake dommes in the domme section, but for me, fake domme = provider who knows little about domination and is just spamming all the ad sections. As soon as I see ads that say, "SuBmIt To Me I wAnT tO bE DOMINATE!", I know that hits my own personal definition of fake domme. But any woman skilled at domination at passionate about it, that's a real domme, for me personally


Edited by swordfish (01/15/18 07:52 PM)

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#1696580 - 01/15/18 06:29 PM Re: Fake Dommes Need to Go [Re: ratamac]
swordfish Offline
Addict

Registered: 01/06/00
Posts: 1227
Agree, as she has so often, she's found a way to move through an ever-changing world (and ever-changing pro domination landscape) with grace

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